Archived entries for

Why I 365


On January 1 I started another 365 project. I’m going to be upfront and say that this if my 4th attempt and I failed every previous attempt. I think the farthest I ever made it was 156 days. That’s not even half way so why on earth would I try this again, having failed so many times in the past? Even now, less than two weeks in to this new project, I’ve been struggling. I don’t want to take a photo. I don’t feel creative. I just can’t be bothered when I have no decent editing programs. For three days I’ve felt like I’ve had to force myself to take a photo because I refused to fail in the first two weeks, photos that really aren’t that great.

For those who aren’t familiar with a 365 project, the goal is to take at least one photo every day for an entire year. Many choose to start on January 1. Many choose to start whenever the notion strikes: their birthday, a holiday, the day they find someone’s inspiring completed project. Or any other day out of the 365 in a year. Rules on when you upload the photo are a little more flexible because some days you just don’t have internet. Or maybe you don’t want to upload the photo at all; most of the people I have heard of doing this do, however, create a blog or a Flickr account and set to uploading nearly daily. Some people have themes, one of the more common being a self portrait every day for a year. I’ve actually tried one of those, though the photos weren’t really shared. Some people want to learn how to use their camera, others just want to document a year in their life.

So in my days of doubt and asking “Self, why are you putting yourself through this torture AGAIN??” I have been trying to determine why, exactly, am I doing this.

I talk about photography a lot. Well, most of it is online talk but still. I try to make posts here with different photos but I’ve been slacking. A lot. I think about photography a lot. I spend a lot of time looking at photographs. I spend a lot of time thinking “I want my photographs to be better.” Then I sit back and do nothing. I leave my camera in the bag and tell myself that for some inconsequential reason or other, I can’t take pictures that day. I want that new lens I’ve been drooling over. I need Photoshop or Lightroom. I need to live in a different town because this one is so blasted dull. It’s easy to find excuses when you’re looking for one. I end up sitting on my lazy bum doing nothing except holding that internal dialogue with myself, whining about why my photography isn’t getting any better. Why my 365s are sucking.

And I realized what I’m currently lacking: effort. Again, when one is looking for excuses there are many to be found; in a heartbeat I could give five different reasons as to why I haven’t been able to put more of an effort in to taking pictures, processing them, and getting them online but they wouldn’t be reasons so much as empty excuses. (OK, the headache that made me fairly ill when I moved might be a valid excuse; the others not so much.) I do want to do this project to improve my photos. From my other attempts at daily photo projects have come some of my favorite photos. I wouldn’t have taken those photos if I hadn’t been pushing myself to do something. While I am not expecting to get a masterpiece from every day I am going to try to make the commitment to not take a photo just to have a photo.

I could go on more about why this is so important to me but I think I need to leave that for another day. I’m feeling rather rusty with the whole blogging thing, which can also only be remedied with practice. And whipping up layouts. Baby steps, yes? For now, have a look at my 365 so far (today’s photo opened this post):

Oh hey this flickr slide show thing is pretty nifty. I’ll have to use it more often, which means I’ll need to be more organized with my sets and such. It also probably means that the slide show will update as I add more photos to the set so after today it will have more than 13 photos in it, even though this was posted on day 13 of the project.

Hello 2011

I’m trying to tell myself that I am NOT starting the year off behind but… I think I am. I want to do a(nother) 365 project because of bunch of my friends on twitter are and I think having a group to keep up with will help. However, photos from the last two days (don’t ask about today cause it hasn’t been taken yet) are still on the camera. I didn’t do a “2010 Blog Roundup” post, I didn’t do a “2011 Resolution/Hopes/Predictions” post, and certainly I didn’t accomplish much of anything that was on my list of things to do for December. One of those things was coding up a new layout for this site because this one is now two years old. I know, I know; shameful, isn’t it? I even forgot to pay my hosting on time!

To be fair, I was on vacation and have barely touched a computer since December 23. My 7.5 year old laptop is kind of a beast to work with. I mean, it still runs, which is great and all, but it overheats and is terribly slow and overall a pain. It has also developed a habit of crashing if I load a site with Flash on it. I’ve also been occupied trying to get some big plans together for the coming months so trying to update from my phone was a definite no go. As for what plans, can’t say yet, which should give those who’ve been following an idea what they’re about. If you still don’t know, sorry but I’ve got to be cryptic for a while. I hope to be able to be more open in the coming weeks; there’s just a whole lot of pieces that need to fall in to place.

So basically, this post is to say hi, I’m here, I’m really tired because I drove nearly 600 miles by myself today, and I have really, really good intentions about updating this site more this year. Just not tonight.

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